Blootered... fuck yeah!

So, this is sort of exciting: my blog is now the 3rd result in a Google search for the word "blootered" (among about 16,900 total matches currently). Somehow I moved up a spot overnight -- um, awesome. Yes, I've finally sneaked past the terribly boring Rampant Scotland site, which nobody should give a damn about. Suck it, RampantScotland.com! Now I just have to get past the miserable Urban Dictionary site and the absurd Wiktionary page to be the Grand Poo-Bah; well, the Blootered Poo-Bah. Of course to get to this point, it's taken a lot of hits to my page by guys searching for things like "matt larson spunk" (as I've previously mentioned) and "mcdonald's mcnugget bucket" (yes, it works). I don't think I want to know what sort of stray surfers I'll have to pull in to become top dog -- this could get ugly.

Speaking of ugly, here is today's list of the three worst people to be stuck on an elevator with: Liza Minnelli, that freaky gay guy that Minnelli was married to for a while, and Roseanne. That elevator is where dreams go to die.

Outside of these elevator situations, I think the worst place you could ever be is at the type of party where someone sticks his dick in the mashed potatoes. It would also be horrible beyond description to be stuck anywhere with this, which no doubt is guilty of having humped mushed-up spuds at some point in his wee little life. That's not fun for anybody.