Monday, February 26, 2007

Titty Tetanus

So. I just paid an eighter for a sixer of Bud. Eight bucks for six tins of Bud. That's Bud, right, the stuff that PROMOTES its use of RICE as an ingredient ("best barley, rice, and choicest hops;" check the can muthafucka; and how weird is it that it's best barley, and some fucking choice hops, but just regular honkey ass rice--wha? I need answers, people). You may be interested to know that I recently paid only $4.78 for the same dose of ricey braw at a Wal-Mart in Columbia, SC. That's fookin cheapers. But. I had to have this gear, if only cuz I may or mayn't be suffering from tetanus. No guff, man, this might be my last suppers. I caught my hand on a rusty nail--I sort of feel lockjaw coming on sharpish. No, I'm not foaming at the mouth or anything, but I don't feel thrilled to bits. Prolly cuz I paid eight bucks for a sixer of Bud, though, if ya really want to know about it. Stupid. I really need to kick my own ass. Anyhoo.

Here are three things I really care about

Detroit sports (including U of M), except the Pistons
Jesus & Mary Chain
Burritos (gotta be sans gwauk, dude)

And here are three things that make me want to barf

Guys who wear sandals
Yoga/Sting (pk'em)
Rice

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Buck up for the Brooklyn Ale, Holmes. More bang for the buck in the long run. Book it.

Angry John Sellers said...

Bud makes your innards cry. I think you were paying the "idiot tax."

I think you should do a top 100 of things that make you barf.

Matt Larson said...

Neg, neg, Easteregg, re: Booklyn Ale -- too malty. Plus, that would cost like $18/sixer. You have my RSVP on that score.

Bud makes my innards goodge up. I have no response to your "idiot tax" comment. I may, however, see your challenge and raise you 50: I will probably do a list of the top 150 things that make me want to barf. That should take like 6 minutes or something. I'm not sure how I can parlay this into anything worth anything, but stay tuned.