Condiment Confusion

So. I've got this damn Amy Winehouse song stuck in my head. I can't get it out!

Worse, I bought a sandwich at a deli and brought it back with me to work to feed on. Trouble: I discovered that my sammie had mayo instead of mustard, as I had clearly asked for. Fuck! This keeps happening at the delis around here. Can't Asians understand the damn difference between mustard and mayo? They don't sound the same at all! Mustard. Mayo. Not the same, not the same! Sticking me with mayo instead of mustard is tantamount to a hate crime, I believe. It's certainly actionable. Balls! Part of the Green Card/Citizenship process should be the essential acquisition of the "skill" to distinguish mayo from mustard. (Also, it should be impressed on newbies that it's KETCHUP, not CATSUP, as was used on a sign in the deli that I bought this bastard sammie. Ketchup, not catsup. I can't stress that enough.) So I had to scrape off the mayo and scavenge the office kitchen for a glob of Gulden's. Luckily, I found some. Man, this day is fucking ruined, though.

And now I have to go to Brooklyn to move my damn truckster. Rat farts!

Final Note: Tomorrow is the Puerto Rican Day parade here in NYC. Inevitably, I will get caught in the chaos -- it always happens. If you get a "Lousiana is the Pelican State" text message from me, please send help!