Today Was Another Defeat

Having to listen to a dude snap his chewing gum is like having a midget hump your leg -- it sucks ass. Luckily, I've never had a midget hump -- or attempt to hump -- my leg. Being stuck within earshot of some fuckhole snapping his gum is probably like having sand in your vagina, too, although I can't speak from experience. But this entire evening I've had to listen to a fucking fruitball and his blugly girlfriend snap gum at each other. These bastards even discussed gum-snapping, like useful people would discuss the weather. Damn it all, these obnoxious fools should -- must -- be involuntarily euthanized. It's for the common good.