I just heard a guy say to another guy, "Give it to Bertha." What would you give to someone called Bertha? Sympathy?

In other news, I am nearly at the point where I will either take a hammer to my piece of shit computer, aka my MacBook, or toss it through a fucking Window. I don't own a hammer (perhaps Bertha will soon be receiving a hammer that I could borrow? I don't want to know, to tell you the truth), so pick a fucking Window, any fucking Window. This fucking MacBook keeps randomly shutting down; the processing speed is pathetic; oh, and then there's the AirPort card: how many ways can you spell "sucks"? I can think of quite a few at the moment as I try to connect to my school's WiFi network. Of course, I'm sitting in a computer lab which houses the network's servers. But I can't stay connected; even when this fucking AirPort does manage to connect, it creeps, like -- no worse than -- dial-up. IR Pissed. I wonder if Bertha would sympathize with my plight? Sources say no.

I could use a muffin. And that's all I have to say about that.